“The Ballad of The Overpriced Shandy” (A Poem)

And So To the Nearby-Bar-In-The-Other-Town I Did Go,

In My Trusty ‘Horseless Carriage’.

Also known as its shortened name – a “Car”

This Is a regular saturday jaunt of mine,

I go from a one-horse-town,

To another one-horse-town.

Or perhaps I should update the phrase & say “I went to a one-car-town”.

These are mostly Shandy, Books & Coffee & Boob-watching trips –

& by ‘Boobs’ I unfortunately mean the ‘people’ kind.

Yes, most people suck, but occasionally you get lucky.

So, this particular time I sling into the usual regular bar –

a slightly old fashioned working mans bar, but owned by recent immigrants.

The two bartenders that are there are damned good guys,

Guys that you know have a real heart beating in their chests.

But the boss is too – let’s just say his vibe doesn’t fill me with confidence.

The good boys at the bar usually give me a good & fair shandy price,

But I make a mistake & ask the owner for the same drink.

He gives me the usual inflated price.

I tell him it’s too expensive –

I say “I usually get it for Six Fifty – surely you can’t charge me the same for a full beer”

I add that he doesn’t pay excise tax on the half of the glass that is lemonade.

The owner looks at ‘good guy one’ next to his shoulder and asks “what do you charge”

‘Good guy number one’ agrees & says “Six Fifty”.

So, the owner, backed into a corner backs down @ gives me my usual Six Fifty price shandy.

Five minutes later I order from the Boss again.

He rings up Eight dollars.

I say “what gives”,

He simply ignores good grace & says “it’s Eight Dollars”.

I regrettibly cough up – with the half protest of raising my hands up in the air while saying “ok ok”.

He pours it, I take it, I drink it.

I thought to myself “I’m probably not coming back next time”.

I found it amazing that the owner was willing to lose a regular customer,

Just to save the one & a half dollars of an overpriced shandy.

That owner boob only valued my regular custom at $1.50.

I paid it anyway & drank it & left.

After I left, I thought about not coming back,

Then I felt extra sorry for those two good guys behind the bar.

I thought to myself “I really should help them get new jobs”.

As I left the stormy day suddenly turned sunny & drove home.

I thought to myself

“If only there were more bars in one-horse-towns”.

Then my actions could have a chance to live up to my principles & intensions.

Yes Siree! You sure give up a lot when drinking overpriced shandys in one-horse-towns.

The Earthly Plague of Mediocretus (Prose Poem)

Mediocretus is the town with zero growth.

There are a few thousand people, and it’s been this way for many, many years.

The surrounding towns have grown by the thousands,

Their People having prospered with their human-preceding, abundant terrestrial-material.

The stuff that was given to them, from the time before History Was Written.

Yet THIS rebellion-of-the-good town named Mediocretus has steadfastly refused to partake,

It has slapped the face of the precious land, fruit & waters, that preceded its peopling.

This the town defined by Spiritual Mediocrity – THIS IS MEDIOCRETUS.

By Name & by FREAK OF Nature.

It doesn’t partake in strangers ‘blow-ins’, ‘city slickers’ or Good People with Good Ideas.

It despises the knowledgeable & has even worse in store for the well-seasoned & wisened.

NO, this town is committed to Abject Mediocrity.

It’s happy being backward, afraid, uninspiring, a-social, anti-life.

In short – it is the Spiritual Wasteland of a Spiritual Wasteland.

It’s the town where the “cool teenagers” – the worst humans, kept their false status as aged Lizard Kings.

The towns Losers have found a winning-strategy in hiding their 100-Proof Mediocrity,

They are highly astute at being Ultra-Aloof to any ‘Alien’ that dare show ‘life force’.

Thus, the Zombies play a murderous game of smoke & mirrors – aka High-End Deception.

By this structural Ultra-Unfriendliness, the Mediocretan’s MURDER ALL THAT IS GOOD IN THE WORLD.

Why would the Mediocretan’s stick to such a Hellish outlook towards Enlightenment & the Good?

Why would they create a Social & Economic Living Hell,

Why would they create a prime commandment of Spiritual Darkness in Mediocretus Town?

I ask you oh Supreme Being – What is their Motivation?

Well, I’ll have a stab in the Dark Cavernous Void,

Christ did say “Forgive them Father- for they know not what they do” while being killed by heathens.

Thus, The Spiritually Lost in Mediocretus cannot do otherwise, but to invite darkness into their hearts.

And, so it is a fact – that is what this town must manifest itself as –

A Underworld Town Of Spiritual Darkness.

But deep down, even the Halfwit Zombies of Mediocre-Town must know this Truth to be True.

It must register in the recesses of their tiny corrupted worm-minds.

true Mediocretan’s must dread the possibility of rightful judgement & divine retribution.

Payback might & probably does happen outside this realm – but it unquestionably happens INSIDE this realm.

The Arrow of Retribution pierces the black un-beating hearts of the true inhabitants of Mediocretus.

For Punishment already happens to these Walking Dead, these Zombies – it is Their Own Lives.

It is an Everyday Mark of the Beast.

It becomes written in their weathered faces & far too early crippled bodies.

True Medeocretan’s suffer from EE-OH-VED – ‘Early-Onset-Vengeful-Eternal-Damnation”

For their self-styled deceitful & seemingly “Winning” Loser’s strategy, has ONE major flaw

Their Deadly Charade of ‘Aloofness as Virtue’ can never work – in the here and now of Mediocretus.

Thus, they are doubly condemned – On Earth Now & After they Bite & Swallow the Maggotted Dust.

Woe To Be Them.

Woe To Be Like Them.

Woe To Be With Them.

Woe to the Loving Few – who have the Zombies of Mediocretus spiritually attack them,

For this WILL happen to all those that bear the fruit of Love & Decency.

And So What of Strategies?

The Lovingly Enlightened must dust their feet off,

And steadfastly inhabit the Spiritual Towns that exist in other realms & dimensions.

You do not need to be where your body is.

So Let the Zombies Devour Each Other.

Let them tear the rotten flesh from one another,

let them Cannibalise their own entrails

Let them falsely accuse you – The Brethren Of The Good,

Let Their Soul-less Hearts Drown in The Lakes of Their Own Putrefied Blood,

In All the Mediocretus Doppelganger Town-Worlds that exist Infinitely –

Those Duplicated Mediocre-Towns that infest Earth, The Galaxy,

Other Galaxies & Other Universes.

For the creators of Mediocretus,

Will Always Reap the Darkness they Sow.

It is simple Destiny,

What Was, Is, And Will Always Be.

The Loving’s Goal is to simply understand these TRUTHS as inalienable fact.

So as to Smile Broadly through the Storms & Headwinds that is ‘Life in Mediocretus’.

Rest Easy, The Walking Undead of Mediocretus Don’t & Can’t Ever Win.

There Is No Stronger Truth In Existence Of Everything That Ever Was, is, or Will Be.